Monday, January 26, 2009
Elmo Is a Terrorist?
Lovable and cuddly child icon Elmo was deported today to Camp X-ray, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, charged with planning acts of terror against the state.
Elmo had been missing from his children’s TV show for a number of days but it had been suspected that his amphetamine addiction had got the better of him again. It was only this morning when a spokesmen from The show announced the shocking news.
"Our friend and colleague Elmo, has been arrested on three charges of terrorist related activities, that is ONE Charge, TWO Charges, THREE Charges, Ha ha ha" said the puppet with fangs.
His close friend Cookie Monster was clearly disturbed at the news "He doesn't even have his blanket. We are going to have to break into his apartment to feed his goldfish. What flavor cookies do goldfish eat anyway?"
The puppet was arrested whilst attempting to buy fuses for an incendiary device at a Kmart in Des Moines on Saturday last it was claimed last night by an FBI spokesman.
"We had conducted a stringent undercover surveillance exercise over a number of weeks and observed dubious behavior from the suspect, didn't we Bert?" said the spokesman, a long faced colleague in the room confirmed the story.
Elmo's agent, Jadon Siaca, seen here before Elmo renegotiated his last contract with the network, was not prepared to comment but one of his other clients made an impassioned plea to the authorities.
"We all know that Security is of the utmost importance but does he deserve this. At least turn the lights off in his cell once in awhile, he got no eyelids for god's sake!" The client wished to remain anonymous in case his long crooked nose and love of chickens singled him out for abuse.
Big Bird made no comment.
This report was brought to you by the letter X and the number 3.
{This messege is in no way a true story as clearly the writer can't spell and must be of spanish heritage. No animals were harmed in the making of this article.}
Send your comments, stories, and pictures to: mesiaca.brookavelafamilia@blogger.com
Saturday, January 24, 2009
El Sur del Bronx. La vida mia [circa 1979]
The South Bronx has been, historically, a place for working class families. It was not always synonymous with the image of a destroyed, drug and poverty riddled western city; this image came in the latter part of the 20th century. There are several causes to the decay of the South Bronx: white flight, landlord abandonment, changes in economic demographics, misguided social policy that promoted welfare instead of workfare, and also the construction of the Cross Bronx Expressway.
The Cross Bronx Expressway, completed in 1963, was a part of Robert Moses’s urban renewal project for New York City. The expressway is ironically thought to be a factor in the extreme urban decay seen by the borough in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Cutting straight through the heart of South Bronx, the highway displaced thousands of residents from their homes, as well as several local businesses. The somewhat already poor and working-class neighborhoods were at another disadvantage: the decreased property value brought on by their proximity to the Cross Bronx Expressway. The neighborhood of East Tremont, in particular, was completely destroyed by the inception of the Cross Bronx Expressway. The combination of increasing vacancy rates and decreased property values created some rather unappealing neighborhoods, places where previous residents and new homeowners would essentially not want to live.
Construction of the Cross Bronx Expressway was not the only factor in the decay of South Bronx. In the late 1960’s, population began decreasing as a result of new policies demanding that, for racial balance in schools, children to be bussed into other districts. Parents who worried about their children attending school outside their district often relocated to the suburbs, where this was not a concern. The primary reason for the decline of many middle class neighborhoods in the 1950s and 1960's was the real estate policies enacted by New York City immediately after World War II, specifically rent control. Contributing to the decreasing population was the fact that New York City’s outdated policies regarding rent control gave building owners no motivation to keep up their properties. Therefore, desirable housing options were scarce, and vacancies further increased. In the late 1960’s, by the time the city decided to consolidate welfare households in the South Bronx, the vacancy rate was already the highest of any place in the city.
The phrase "The Bronx is burning" uttered by Howard Cosell during a Yankees World Series game in the 1977, refers to the arson epidemic in South Bronx during the 1970s. It was during this time that arson became popular because landlords would collect the insurance money for the building. Sometimes, prior to being set on fire, the building would be stripped of wiring, plumbing, metal fixtures, and anything else of value so as to retain some of the owner’s investments. Also, some fires in the South Bronx were simply caused because of deteriorating electrical systems or neglect on the landlord’s part as they still are today. The presence of several of these vacant, burnt-down buildings contributed to the atmosphere similar to that of a war-devastated country.
Since the late 1980s parts of the South Bronx have experienced urban renewal with rehabilitated and brand new residential structures, including both subsidized multifamily town homes and apartment buildings. Many of the newer residents are of the lower income strata who been displaced from other low income sections of the city, born in the South Bronx (Due to a higher birth rate), or from immigrants from Latin America and the Caribbean (Primarily Dominican and Jamaican). This is because a significant percentage of New York City's affordable housing is being built in the South Bronx.
Since the late 1970s the South Bronx has been home to a grassroots art scene. The arts scene that sprouted at the Fashion Moda Gallery, founded by a Viennese artist, Stefan Eins, helped ignite the careers of artists like Keith Haring and Jenny Holzer, and 1980's break dancers like the Rock Steady Crew. It generated enough enthusiasm in the mainstream media for a short while to draw the art world's attention.[13]. Its population is increasing. Modern Graffiti also calls the South Bronx home. The Bronx is home to many of the fathers of graffiti art such as Tats Cru. The Bronx has a very strong graffiti scene despite the city's crackdown on illegal graffiti. Graffiti has thrived in the gritty urban environment of the South Bronx.
South Bronx Campus, home of Village Prep School at 701 St Ann's Avenue The South Bronx in many ways is more a state of mind than an actual location. Also, a more notable dichotomy in the Bronx is that of the West Bronx vs. the East Bronx; the West Bronx is hillier, more densely populated, and located west of the Bronx River, while the East Bronx is flatter, less densely populated, and located east of the Bronx River.
Construction of the new Yankee Stadium has stirred controversy over plans which, along with the new billion dollar field, include new athletic fields, tennis courts, bicycle and walking paths, stores, restaurants as well as a new Metro-North Railroad station, which during baseball season might help ease overcrowding on the subway. There is hope that along these attractions will help to generate residential construction. However, the new park comes at a price: a total of 22 acres in Macombs Dam and John Mullaly Parks were sacrificed to build it. Developers say they have plans to create fields on top of parking lots and will replace the old stadium with new parks. The new stadium is expected to be completed in time for the 2009 season. However, the expected completion date of the promised athletic fields and other green space have yet to be revealed. Many in the local community oppose the stadium due to its effects on pollution, traffic, and a massive loss of the community's limited green space.
Although strides have been made since the days of arson, the South Bronx is still a long way from a real recovery. It is situated in the poorest congressional district in the country, and contains over half of the Bronx's housing projects.. Almost 50% of the population lives below the poverty line. Drug trafficking, gang activity, and prostitution are all still common problems throughout the South Bronx. Its precincts record the highest violent crime rates in the city and are all NYPD "impact zones".
The Cross Bronx Expressway, completed in 1963, was a part of Robert Moses’s urban renewal project for New York City. The expressway is ironically thought to be a factor in the extreme urban decay seen by the borough in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Cutting straight through the heart of South Bronx, the highway displaced thousands of residents from their homes, as well as several local businesses. The somewhat already poor and working-class neighborhoods were at another disadvantage: the decreased property value brought on by their proximity to the Cross Bronx Expressway. The neighborhood of East Tremont, in particular, was completely destroyed by the inception of the Cross Bronx Expressway. The combination of increasing vacancy rates and decreased property values created some rather unappealing neighborhoods, places where previous residents and new homeowners would essentially not want to live.
Construction of the Cross Bronx Expressway was not the only factor in the decay of South Bronx. In the late 1960’s, population began decreasing as a result of new policies demanding that, for racial balance in schools, children to be bussed into other districts. Parents who worried about their children attending school outside their district often relocated to the suburbs, where this was not a concern. The primary reason for the decline of many middle class neighborhoods in the 1950s and 1960's was the real estate policies enacted by New York City immediately after World War II, specifically rent control. Contributing to the decreasing population was the fact that New York City’s outdated policies regarding rent control gave building owners no motivation to keep up their properties. Therefore, desirable housing options were scarce, and vacancies further increased. In the late 1960’s, by the time the city decided to consolidate welfare households in the South Bronx, the vacancy rate was already the highest of any place in the city.
The phrase "The Bronx is burning" uttered by Howard Cosell during a Yankees World Series game in the 1977, refers to the arson epidemic in South Bronx during the 1970s. It was during this time that arson became popular because landlords would collect the insurance money for the building. Sometimes, prior to being set on fire, the building would be stripped of wiring, plumbing, metal fixtures, and anything else of value so as to retain some of the owner’s investments. Also, some fires in the South Bronx were simply caused because of deteriorating electrical systems or neglect on the landlord’s part as they still are today. The presence of several of these vacant, burnt-down buildings contributed to the atmosphere similar to that of a war-devastated country.
Since the late 1980s parts of the South Bronx have experienced urban renewal with rehabilitated and brand new residential structures, including both subsidized multifamily town homes and apartment buildings. Many of the newer residents are of the lower income strata who been displaced from other low income sections of the city, born in the South Bronx (Due to a higher birth rate), or from immigrants from Latin America and the Caribbean (Primarily Dominican and Jamaican). This is because a significant percentage of New York City's affordable housing is being built in the South Bronx.
Since the late 1970s the South Bronx has been home to a grassroots art scene. The arts scene that sprouted at the Fashion Moda Gallery, founded by a Viennese artist, Stefan Eins, helped ignite the careers of artists like Keith Haring and Jenny Holzer, and 1980's break dancers like the Rock Steady Crew. It generated enough enthusiasm in the mainstream media for a short while to draw the art world's attention.[13]. Its population is increasing. Modern Graffiti also calls the South Bronx home. The Bronx is home to many of the fathers of graffiti art such as Tats Cru. The Bronx has a very strong graffiti scene despite the city's crackdown on illegal graffiti. Graffiti has thrived in the gritty urban environment of the South Bronx.
South Bronx Campus, home of Village Prep School at 701 St Ann's Avenue The South Bronx in many ways is more a state of mind than an actual location. Also, a more notable dichotomy in the Bronx is that of the West Bronx vs. the East Bronx; the West Bronx is hillier, more densely populated, and located west of the Bronx River, while the East Bronx is flatter, less densely populated, and located east of the Bronx River.
Construction of the new Yankee Stadium has stirred controversy over plans which, along with the new billion dollar field, include new athletic fields, tennis courts, bicycle and walking paths, stores, restaurants as well as a new Metro-North Railroad station, which during baseball season might help ease overcrowding on the subway. There is hope that along these attractions will help to generate residential construction. However, the new park comes at a price: a total of 22 acres in Macombs Dam and John Mullaly Parks were sacrificed to build it. Developers say they have plans to create fields on top of parking lots and will replace the old stadium with new parks. The new stadium is expected to be completed in time for the 2009 season. However, the expected completion date of the promised athletic fields and other green space have yet to be revealed. Many in the local community oppose the stadium due to its effects on pollution, traffic, and a massive loss of the community's limited green space.
Although strides have been made since the days of arson, the South Bronx is still a long way from a real recovery. It is situated in the poorest congressional district in the country, and contains over half of the Bronx's housing projects.. Almost 50% of the population lives below the poverty line. Drug trafficking, gang activity, and prostitution are all still common problems throughout the South Bronx. Its precincts record the highest violent crime rates in the city and are all NYPD "impact zones".
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